Devour The City

There is a new meatball in town. No, it is not another sex crazed, alcohol fueled female cast member of the Jersey Shore. It is a new meatball joint located in Chelsea called Meatball Obsession. A quick to-go window located on 6th avenue between 13th and 14th street. The window is Serving up quick, easy, meatball sandwiches, meatballs in a cup and full family meals to go, even comes with pasta.

The Pork Meatball in a cup double ($7 ) A large meatball served in a cup with sunday sauce and parmesan dip bread. This meatball blew my socks off. Firm in texture, full of flavor which left a nice little heat buzz on my lips after eating. The sauce was tangy and sweet and made it feel like sunday at 4pm when it was only tuesday at 630pm.

The Beef Meatball in a cup double ($7) Served same as the pork meatball with fresh pearled balls of Mozzarella . A taste of fresh flavorful beef with hints Romano cheese and parsley danced on your tongue like two drunk hipsters at a Cults cover band show.

There are a lot of meatballs to chose from now in New York. If you're looking for something with flavor, quick and easy then Meatball Obsession should be on your culinary to-do list.

Meatball Obsession

510 6th Avenue, New York, NY

(212) 260-8646

www.MeatballObsession.com

The world is ending. Not because a bunch of Mexicans got drunk off a few Coronas, thousands of years ago, and decided to play Pictionary using a pyramid wall while drunk. The world is ending because my brother offered to take me out to dinner and pay for it. I had to take advantage of this situation quickly and carefully, before he changed his mind and text me back " Forget it, I'm going to order chinese and watch the Office". I quickly mentioned the Meatball shop. I don't know why. When it comes to meatballs I am very picky. In the hundreds of meatballs I have eaten in my life, I've only really loved two. I was pretty sure the meatball shop wouldn't be number three. But there was no turning back at this point.

My brother and I shot out to the Brooklyn location of The Meatball shop located on Bedford avenue in of course, Williamsburg. It was a Friday night and it was packed with a 10-20 minute waiting time. I feel any place that has a dense populations of hipsters should have a time limit on the table. Ever watch a hipster eat? It’s like watching a monkey fuck a football. I mean how long can you possibly talk about the collective works of Moby? The Meatball shop has an bar area, dimly lit with an open kitchen in the back along with some tables. My brother and I scored a seat in the back right in front of the open kitchen. The menu was a “ build your own “ checking off what kind of meatballs, sauce, cheese etc. One thing I have to point out is I noticed the word “ hero “ on the menu, describing the sandwich. Respect. This is fucking new york city, we call sandwiches on Italian bread, Hero’s. Not hoagies, grinders or subs. You want to call a sandwich something other than a hero, you should move back to motherfucking Ohio. Here’s what we ordered,

Classic Beef Meatballs ($9) A fresh hero topped with 3 meatballs, classic tomato sauce and fresh mozzarella. The meatball was decent, flavorful, not exactly what I was looking for texture wise, but it did the job. The sauce had a nice garlicky tang to it. The bread was fresh, crunchy out layer with a chewy inner.

Spicey Pork Meatblls ($9) Served on a hero with sauce and fresh mozz, These meatballs were pretty damn F good. A little bit more tender than the beef ones with a nice hint of spiced flavor. These meatballs also worked well with the sauce giving a little heat to go with the tanginess.

Risotto ($4) If I had a time machine, I would go back in time and not order this dish. It was really soupy and tasted like a shoe that has been hanging off a telephone pole for the past 12 years.

Polenta ($4) I tried the Risotto first, so I didn’t have high hopes for the polenta. Much like my choices in woman, I was wrong. The polenta was creamy with hints of parmigna and butter. Until this day I still have erotic fantasy about this polenta.

With two cokes, the bill came to a whopping $35. I was pissed. In my life I only take advantage of two situations, a free meal and sex. I was looking to piss my brother off with a huge bill but it didn’t happen. Meatball shop wasn’t what I was looking for meatball wise. But the vibe is cool, the food is decent and the price is on point. Would I return to Meatball shop? Hell yes. And as for finding the perfect meatball, my adventure continues on.

The Meatball Shop

170 Bedford Avenue, Brooklyn (2 other locations)

718 - 551-0520

B rating from the NYC DOH

http://www.themeatballshop.com/

I am sad to announce I will have to abandon plans for organizing a food truck festival in Coney Island. With all the empty lots in Coney Island I figured find space for the trucks would be easy, I was wrong. And that is what it simply comes down to. Also, things have changed in my personal life and my priorities are different now. The good news is I am in contact with the food truck association and I will be informing them about big events going on in Coney Island.

Most importantly, I would like to thank everyone for their support. All my close personal friends who were going to fly in from through out the country just for the event. Thank you to all the bloggers, media, food truck vendors, the food heads on twitter and all the new contacts I made along the way for supporting the idea. I guess there is always next summer.

“Ox cart”. This is the text message I got from a friend. You see, most of my friends are fucking morons. They like to start their sentences in the middle and expect me to decipher what they're saying. Honestly, I was hoping a cart pulled by an ox had run him over. No luck. He went on to explain it would be the best burger I’d eat all year. I had to see this for myself.

Ox cart is located on Newkirk Avenue in Ditmas Park, the latest area to be gentrified, making it hard to tell if you need a bullet proof vest or hipster repellent. It’s housed in a cool little spot with outdoor seating in the summer. Inside is a bar, some seating and a few booths filled with hipsters. I also noticed some random crazy lady stealing silverware. She didn’t think anyone was watching, but I was. Right away I saw fresh baked pretzels. That’s a no brainer; order it. Now, on to the burgers. An Alamo burger and a coke will work.

Before I go into further detail about the food, my coke had arrived, in a tall glass bottle. Producto Mexico. We were off to a good start.

The soft baked pretzels: ($4) Two pretzel sticks served with cheese sauce and dijon mustard. Piping hot, soft baked with a crunchy outer layer and a chewy inside. The dijon mustard was spicy enough to clear the worst case of genital warts. After that I stuck with the cheese sauce.

The Alamo burger: ($13) No, PeeWee Herman did not deliver this burger on his bike. A half pound of beef topped with jack cheese, a deep fried onion ring, a fried egg and homemade BBQ sauce, all served with freshly cut fries. If you’ve ever wondered what the meaning of life is, this burger is it. It’s perfectly charred, with a precise ratio of meat to bun. The crunch of the onion ring, the tenderness of an egg and the sweetness of the BBQ sauce made this a home run. My only gripe was I wished the egg would have been over easy. The fries were good - fresh and crunchy.

Towards the end of the meal the service got a little sluggish, but that’s because I think a A strokes cover band performance next door let out and the place was turning into dude bro central. If you told me 15 years ago I would one day eat one of the greatest burgers in Brooklyn, on Newkirk Avenue, I would have stolen your wallet and peed on your leg. My, how times have changed.

Ox Cart Tavern

1301 Newkirk Avenue, Brooklyn NY

(718) 284-0005

www.oxcarttavern.com

One thing I hate is dating. Two things I hate are dating and going on a date to a place I’ve never been. So when my date suggested we hit up Crif Dog, I was excited, for about 8 minutes. That’s when I realized I had never been there, even though they were on my to-do list. This may be hard for you to believe, but I do have some manners, just not many. So I opted not to do my usual review process of picture taking and deep concentration while eating for the potential of casual sex.

My friend and I decided to go to Crif Dog’s second location, in Williamsburg. Located on Driggs Avenue, it’s a small space with a few tables; two of which have pac-man video game and counter type seating in the back. Your order off a large chalkboard menu and the dude bro behind the counter brings you your food. This time around I went with a Good Morning Dog and a Jon-Jon Deragon dog, and we decided to split orders of tater tots and chili waffle fries.

Good morning dog ($5): A hot dog bun topped with a fried egg, American cheese and a deep fried crif dog wrapped in bacon. With the first bite, I got that hot dog snap which we all love and masturbate to at night. Now, I NEVER put ketchup on a hotdog and I think people who do should be beaten with a rusty rake in an abandoned garage in South Brooklyn, but I cannot eat eggs without ketchup, so I threw a little on and stepped into eternal hot dog ecstasy. This hot dog brought back fond memories from my childhood. My father used to make us eggs with fried hot dogs on Saturdays, which I later found out was a staple in many Russian households. So much for being trendy.

Jon-Jon DeRagon ($3.75): A crif dog topped with cream cheese, scallions and toppings you would find on an everything bagel. All I have to say is it worked. This was definitely the weirdest combination but in a good way, kind of like when after you sleep with a girl, she says has to leave because she has to wake up early in the morning to make the donuts.

Tater tots ($3.50): Crisp little morsels of potatoes, perfectly crispy and salty. Make sure you ask for the melted cheese on the side.

Waffle fries with chili cheese ($4.50) Anything in waffle form has to be good. They’re topped with a meaty chili that gives a little heat and sweetness at the same time.

I decided 2012 was going to be the year I didn’t eat at the same place twice. I was doing well until this, but if someone had to break my streak, I’m glad it was Crif Dog.

Have you ever come home at 430 in the morning, drunk and said to yourself “I need a pizza stone"? Well, I have. Most people get drunk and get laid, I’m buying pizza stones. But I figured the pizza stone would get me laid anyway so fuck it. I picked up a stone, peel and pizza cutter on eBay for $30 and fell a sleep on my couch. I’m no Dom Difara but this could be “ teach a man to fish “ situation. I invited over a few unsuspecting friends to test my pizza making skills and these were the results.


My local pizza joint hooked me up with some of their dough. For $10 I cranked out 8 small pies.

I made a simple tomato sauce ($5). Garlic, onions, salt, pepper, and some red wine and I let that fucker cook for 3 hours on low heat


No Vodka was harmed in the making of this sauce

I picked up some nice imported prosciutto ($5 for a 1/4 pound ) and fresh mozzarella ($6 for a pound ) from this Italian specialty store


I'm not going to lie to you. It took me about 2 hours and 3 glasses of wine to try and figure out how to get the dough to look like this.

The first test pie. I put my oven onto 525 degrees. Once my oven hit 525 I let the pizza oven sit in there for twenty minutes. I topped it with my simple tomato sauce, cheese, salt, pepper, olive oil, parmigiano reggiano and then I threw the fucker in there.