Crif Dogs


One thing I hate is dating. Two things I hate are dating and going on a date to a place I’ve never been.  So when my date suggested we hit up Crif Dog, I was excited, for about 8 minutes. That’s when I realized I had never been there, even though they were on my to-do list. This may be hard for you to believe, but I do have some manners, just not many. So I opted not to do my usual review process of picture taking and deep concentration while eating for the potential of casual sex.

My friend and I decided to go to Crif Dog’s second location, in Williamsburg. Located on Driggs Avenue, it’s a small space with a few tables; two of which have pac-man video game and counter type seating in the back. Your order off a large chalkboard menu and the dude bro behind the counter brings you your food. This time around I went with a Good Morning Dog and a Jon-Jon Deragon dog, and we decided to split orders of tater tots and chili waffle fries.


Good morning dog ($5): A hot dog bun topped with a fried egg, American cheese and a deep fried crif dog wrapped in bacon. With the first bite, I got that hot dog snap which we all love and masturbate to at night. Now, I NEVER put ketchup on a hotdog and I think people who do should be beaten with a rusty rake in an abandoned garage in South Brooklyn, but I cannot eat eggs without ketchup, so I threw a little on and stepped into eternal hot dog ecstasy.  This hot dog brought back fond memories from my childhood. My father used to make us eggs with fried hot dogs on Saturdays, which I later found out was a staple in many Russian households. So much for being trendy.



Jon-Jon DeRagon ($3.75): A crif dog topped with cream cheese, scallions and toppings you would find on an everything bagel. All I have to say is it worked. This was definitely the weirdest combination but in a good way, kind of like when after you sleep with a girl, she says has to leave because she has to wake up early in the morning to make the donuts.



Tater tots ($3.50): Crisp little morsels of potatoes, perfectly crispy and salty. Make sure you ask for the melted cheese on the side. 



Waffle fries with chili cheese  ($4.50)  Anything in waffle form has to be good. They’re topped with a meaty chili that gives a little heat and sweetness at the same time.

I decided 2012 was going to be the year I didn’t eat at the same place twice. I was doing well until this, but if someone had to break my streak, I’m glad it was Crif Dog.

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