I am a true southerner. South Brooklyn, that is. Born and bred. Even though I don’t ride around on candy paint, or refer to everyone as “...
Mable's Smoke House.
My family and I celebrate most occasions with Chinese food. Yes, we’re the stereotypical Jews, but it’s in the Jewish people’s handbook; ...
New Sea Wide Seafood Restaurant
New Sea Wide Restaurant
5810 8th Avenue
Brooklyn, NY 11220
(718) 439-3200
I try not to fall into food hype. I left the pizza in a cone to the culinary hype beast and the assholes with Yelp accounts. Lobster ro...
Red Hook Lobster Pound
I have a lot of followers on Twitter. Okay, about 1100, but I’m not gloating. Okay, I am. I get a lot of recommendations, but one that ...
Artichoke Basille
I have a lot of followers on Twitter. Okay, about 1100, but I’m not gloating. Okay, I am. I get a lot of recommendations, but one that comes across my page often is Artichoke Basille’s Pizza.
I usually get these recommendations at 4am, and they usually involve a lot of bad grammar and a lot of words from a really bad rap song by hipsters from Ohio. These tweets are kind of like a drunken text message that doesn’t lead to sex, which only means one thing: after sloshing out of a bar/club they head over and get a slice. When you’re drunk, even broken, herpes infested glass tastes good. I’ve already taken drunken restaurant advice once and that only led me to that shit hole
Artichoke is located on 17th Street and 10th Avenue. As you walk in you see a large bar (that I’m guessing only serves beer), a few seats and a to-go spot in the back. I had a hard time trying to figure out where the line started because some cunt muscle tourists were waiting to use the bathroom. I glanced over and saw a tempting margarita slice, and what I thought was a white slice, but dude bro behind the counter told me it was an artichoke slice. Ding ding! Give me one of those and a margarita, please.
The Margarita slice ($5): Now, this isn’t your average margarita slice. It was big and bulky. It seemed like the kind of slice you’d get in Waco, Texas. A heavy glob of tomato sauce and cheese spread onto a thick, doughy-looking crust. I was wondering if they had a forklift in the back to help me lift this slice into my mouth. It was crunchy and chewy; a good sign. The sauce was perfect; a little sweet, but right on.
The Artichoke slice ($5): A fresh, right out of the oven thick crust slice, which looks like it was topped with mozzarella and ricotta and a few burnt cheese marks. Now, I don’t know about you, but burnt cheese marks on a slice of pizza are a good sign in my book. A few bites in and I became a believer. This was nothing like I’ve ever tasted in my 30 years on this planet of eating New York City Pizza. Crunchy, chewy, salty, creamy supremacy lay in front of me on a paper plate. It was like like vaginal juices of a goddess dripped down from upon the heavens and had landed on my pizza.
New York City is full of culinary hype; from pop-up restaurants, to pizza in a cone, to kid food critics. I don’t know about you, but when I was in the 5th grade, most kids ate glue. I thought Artichoke would fall into this hype but they proved me wrong. I am now a devoted follower of Artichoke Basille’s Pizza. By the way, I’ve had an artichoke slice everyday for the past week.
Artichoke Pizza and Bar ( 3 locations )
114 10th Ave • New York, NY
www.artichokepizza.com
212-792-9200
I found my self in the Flat Iron district one day, hungry . I wanted a burger so of course, shake shack came to mind first. Upon ar...
Frites 'N' Meats
The menu has a build-your-burger option, which I prefer because I like to control my meat, just like in real life. I decided to go with a Waguy burger topped with cheddar on a potato roll, and an order of fries and a coke. As I was going to order the dude bros on the truck asked me if I wanted to try their bottle rocket burger, at least that’s what I think they said. It was a special burger they made to promote the opening of a wine shop a few stores down. I said sure, but I fucked up. I like to try what’s on the menu so that later, whomever reads this review says ‘that dick head Dave at Devour said this burger is good, maybe I’ll try it, fuck it’.
Bottle rocket burger : Wagyu beef, marinated in red wine, garlic and rosemary. (Oh, you fancy huh...) Topped with cheddar, raw onion, tomato, pickle, mesclun greens, ketchup and mayo on a potato onion roll that’s baked by Balthazar. My first bite squirted juices further than a porn star in heat. As I chewed the taste of Red wine and garlic started to subtley appear. Now, I never had a burger marinated in wine and garlic, but who ever idea this was, I'd like to give you a hug.
Finally, after months of looking for a good burger, Frites and Meats finally satisfied my craving. Now that I think of it, I would like to thank all the dick heads who waited on line for Shake Shack that day. If it wasn’t for them, I would have never discovered Frites and Meats, my go-to spot for a great burger.
M y friends and I went out to support a friend DJ’ing at Bar Basque. I don’t know what the fuck was going on that night but I felt like ...
Great N.Y. Noodletown
Located on the corner of Bayard and Bowery, a big white sign glows against roasted meat hanging in the window. I’ve been to NY Noodletown once, after a late-night booty call, and luckily we only waited 10 minutes. This time we got a table right away but, as the night went on, the place filled up quickly. By the time we left, there was a line out the door.My friends and I decided to share a few small plates. A shrimp roll, an order of roasted duck lo mein, some roast pork and two soups with roast pork. Not only do I like to pork, but I like to eat it as well.
The Shrimp Roll: shrimp rolled into a batter and deep fried. Eh, nothing special.
Great N.Y. Noodletown