My family and I celebrate most occasions with Chinese food. Yes, we’re the stereotypical Jews, but it’s in the Jewish people’s handbook; ...

New Sea Wide Seafood Restaurant

My family and I celebrate most occasions with Chinese food. Yes, we’re the stereotypical Jews, but it’s in the Jewish people’s handbook; rule #3. Going out to eat with my family is an adventure. Okay, more like a really bad reality show.  Now, don’t get it twisted; I have a great set of parents and a brother. But my father tends to eat rice grain by grain. I mean, the man eats slower than a convict having his last meal on death row. My mom - to her everything is salty, expensive and, according to her, we will never find a parking spot. As for my brother, well…. He has the manners of a baboon with Down Syndrome. He tends to look at his watch every few seconds and asks for the check before we even order. So, you can see how difficult going out to with my family dinner can be.

It was my father’s birthday. My brother was going away on vacation so that was one headache out of the way. My pops and I had always talked about venturing into Brooklyn’s Chinatown neighborhood, which started on 65st stretched down 8th Avenue until the hipsters gentrified the rents. As approached the area we were clueless as to where to eat. I knew about Pacificana, but I wanted to stay away. I was looking for something more off the beat. I just feel any place with a New York Times write up would be flooded with Park Slope moms trying to order in broken Cantonese they learned from Rosetta Stone. So after 10 minutes of walking around, we had enough decided to try this place called New Sea Wide Seafood restaurant.

The place was dead except for one guy who was watching Oprah in Cantonese. Go figure. As we waited for our menus, I prayed homeboy wouldn’t bring over the “white boy menu”. As I skimmed the menu I was glad to see there was no dish option of a half chicken with french fries. I had no clue what was or wasn't authentic but I figured if I haven't seen it on any run of the mill take out menu I'd be okay. Here's what we ordered.

Baby shrimp with egg ($8.95) :  The shrimp was a little larger than what you’d call “baby,” and was mixed with scrambled eggs. It was a simple, delicious dish. You could tell the egg was fried in sesame oil, which gave it more of an authentic flavor. The shrimp, although not deveined, was tender and fresh. 

 Beef chow fun ($7.95):  One of my favorite dishes is chow fun and I wanted to order it to see if it differed from the white boy style you would get in a random take-out joint. It did. Slices of tender beef and Chinese broccoli lay atop a mountain of flat noodles fried in soy sauce. Not only do I love chinese food and girls but I now love their Broccoli. Yes, I live in a cave and have never tried Chinese Broccoli. Tender and crisp, the crunchy texture blended well with the tenderness of the beef and the softness of the noodles. 

Chicken with scallion and ginger ($8.95):  I’m an asshole. This wasn’t what I thought it was going to be. But I’m Mister know it all and got it anyway. Boiled chicken choked up and served with a side of scallion ginger sauce. Eh, took two bites and decided I’d rather pick a homeless man’s nose and eat what I found.

Roast pork ($6.95):  Your everyday hung in the window roast pork. Sliced up and served for me to eat within 2.3 seconds. Tender, juicy and sweet. I’m somewhat convinced all window roast pork was created equal. 

Chili squid($9.95):  Pieces of squid, deep fried, and sprinkled with chili peppers, salt and pepper. Not a bad dish, gave a little heat to everything else we were eating, which seemed a little dull on the spice side. The crust was a little heavy, which didn’t give any room to actually taste the squid. Either way, two thumbs up to this dish. 

Oh, and I got a coke. Just to keep it gully.

I wasn't really paying attention to the prices when I ordered but I figured the bill would be at least $100. I was shocked to see the bill come out to $43.75. Shit, I can go buy a pair of dunks with rest of the money. Everyone agreed the bill and the food was perfect. Although my love affair with Chinatown still lives on I honestly believe in 5 years Brooklyn's Chinatown will make Manhattan's Chinatown look like a motherfucking P.F Changs.

New Sea Wide Restaurant 
5810 8th Avenue
Brooklyn, NY 11220
(718) 439-3200