Fonda

So I met this bimbo off of Jdate. You're probably rolling your eyes and saying "what a loser." But it was snowing outside, I was comfortably sitting on my couch, in my boxers, eating cold fried rice out of a bowl that I was carefully balancing on my stomach. And not for nothing, the last girl I met "out" ate her hair, but "only when she gets nervous" which seemed to be every 11 minutes. 

The bimbo and I decided that we should meet up for dinner, preferably Mexican. I have a go-to Mexican spot in Red Hook called "Alma", total panty dropper, but the problem is every time I bring a girl there on a date I always seem to run into them there later - with a guy. So I decided I would stop shitting where I eat and check out this spot called Fonda in Park Slope.

Fonda is located on 7th avenue and owned by Chef Roberto Santibañez, the author of a cookbook called Truly Mexican. I read about Roberto a while back in the New York Times, and I put his place in my mental restaurant index. As we walked into the small, dimly lit space, a hostess greeted us, asking for our reservation and said we could wait for our table by the crowded bar.  

As we waited by the bar, the aura of awkwardness glowed around my date and I. What's wrong with you girls? This girl was acting like I was trying to steal her purse or something. But I have a cure-all for awkwardness - alcohol. 

Two drinks in my date, the drift wood with hair was finally loosening up and put me in charge of ordering a few dishes we would split, considering I was the "epicurean" (someone's reading a new book). As she started to slur her words(lightweight) and talk about her career, her cat, and how much she hates her neighbor, I was playfully smiling and nodding my head along as I read to myself the dishes. Here's what I ordered:

Flautas De Pollo ($8)  Two crispy tortillas filled with shredded chicken, topped with Salsa verde, pasilla de Oaxaca Salsa, queso fresco and crema. Holy fuck was this good! Crispy, and tender with a little heat. If this dish wasn't getting my laid tonight, I would have to re-tweak my pallet.





Guacamole ($11)  Your standard guacamole with small hits of garlic and cilantro, with a chunky Constancy - pretty good. The menu description says the chips are house made - bullshit. These chips tasted like the bag they came out of.
photo 1


Flautas De Pollo ($8)  Two crispy tortillas filled with shredded chicken, topped with Salsa verde, pasilla de Oaxaca Salsa, queso fresco and crema. Holy fuck was this good! Crispy, and tender with a little heat. If this dish wasn't getting my laid tonight, I would have to re-tweak my pallet.


photo 2
 Taquitos ($8)  Grilled marinated skirt steak with onions, cilantro, and chile de arbol salsa. "Hey did you order tacos?" Good thing this girl was pretty because she wasn't too bright.  The steak was a little flat even with the salsa verde.


photo 3
Pollo Norteno ($18)  Boneless achiote marinated chicken tossed with melted chihuahua cheese, served in a skillet and topped with chiles serranos "toreados", cured red onions, with a side of charro beans and warm hand press tortillas. This dish alone will keep me coming back to Fonda. A beautiful, colorful dish hits our table in a cast iron skillet filled with marinated chicken and heaps of melted, gooey, smooth strands of cheese, topped with pickled onions and serrano peppers. This dish is a must - no questions asked.






As the night rolled on and the alcohol let loose the awkwardness and woke up gluttony, my date and I were full and slipping into a food coma. Although we didn't agree that people shouldn't toast fresh bagels, we did both agree that Fonda was damn good and neither of use can wait to come back. Little did my date know is that she would have to return with someone else. Me? Date someone who toasts a fresh bagel? Fuck that noise.

Fonda
434 7th Ave Brooklyn, NY
(718) 369-3144
www.fondarestaurant.com
NYCRestaurant_A

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