Do you remember the movie Good Burger ? It was about a doofus who wrecked his mom’s car and had to work in a burger joint with an even b...

Good Burger

 Do you remember the movie Good Burger? It was about a doofus who wrecked his mom’s car and had to work in a burger joint with an even bigger doofus. It was a pretty bad movie, even for nickelodeon standards. So when I passed a burger joint called “Good Burger”, I was a little hesitant to try it. But I was hungry and it was getting late; desperate times call for desperate measures. 

 As I walked in I was surprised to find there wasn’t some roller skating kid with dreads, welcoming me with the cheesy slogan “Welcome to Good Burger, home of the good burger, can I take your order?” No, it was just a regular guy. I asked a few questions and decided on a single burger ($4.25) with cheese (.75 cents extra), fries ($2.75) and a small drink ($2). 

 As I waited for my burger I was a little disappointed to see two things. First, the fries were not fresh. They actually opened up a bag right in front of me. If you’re supposed to be a specialty joint, humor me; open the package of fries in the back. Second disappointment was the open package of Arnold’s hamburger buns. Again, humor me. Open the buns in the back or bring them out on a tray so it looks like you they are " specialty ". On the plus side, they did make the burgers on a grill instead of a cook top, and they added two slices of yellow and white cheddar cheese to the burger. 

 My number was up and I had the whole places to myself, so I took a seat on the first floor. Decorated on the walls were Good Burger’s accomplishments: acknowledgments from NY Magazine’s “Cheap Eats of 2006,”, Time Out New York and The New York Times, among others. Okay, so this should be a good burger. I mean, NY Magazine is never wrong, right? 

 Wrapped in paper, the burger looked really good. But upon further inspection, I noticed the lack of meat. As I took my first few bites I felt like I was eating a salad or worst, a sandwich from subway. The burger was juicy but it had no character; no charred flavor, nothing it was like eating something Guy Fieri had prepared. It was just there. It was decent, at best. By now I was hoping for a guy to come out on roller skates and start singing “He’s a dude, she’s a dude, you’re a dude.” Maybe that would of made this burger a little better.

 The fries were thin cut and served in a bag, and were drier than the Mojave Desert. They reminded me of McDonald’s fries.

 Good burger sucked. I was really surprised, considering they have six different locations in Manhattan. Usually that means you have a really good product or somebody backing you financially who loves wasting money. If you love mediocre burgers and fries then good burger is the spot for you. If not, just like the movie, I’d steer clear of Good Burger, even if it’s 3:00am, you can’t sleep and there’s nothing to watch on TV. 

Good Burger
6 locations in New York City