Wednesday, April 27, 2011

BV Burger

After my last disappointment with Good Burger, I was on the hunt for a decent burger. Luckily, in the building I work, there’s a take-out place called BV Burger, an offspring joint from Bobby Van’s Steak House. I figured, steak house, burger, how bad could it be?

BV Burger is located in the courtyard of 120 West 45
th Street, a location you would definitely miss if you didn’t know it was there. As you walk in there’s really no glitz or glamor to the place. There’s just a counter with a kitchen behind it, three people working the grill and some guy taking the orders. And, there’s no seating.

I got the 1/2 pound sirloin burger with cheddar cheese, ($8) with everything (lettuce, tomato, red onion, ketchup and mayo) on it. No mustard, I hate when mustard is being offered as a topping on a burger. The only people who put mustard on a burger are assholes and people from New jersey. I also got an order of fries ($3) and a bottle of coke ($2.50 for 16 oz). I was happy to hear the guy taking my order ask me how I’d like my burger cooked; medium, of course.

Finally unwrapping my burger and I notice there wasn’t a burger just a glop of melted cheese with barely a burger to be found, 1/2 pound my ass. After further examination I realized they served me a hockey puck. What the fuck? Did they use to cook this thing, the sun? Maybe I was missing something? Maybe this was a new technique of cooking burgers? All I know is this burger was blacker than the African dude trying to sell me a fake Louie Vuitton wallet on the train. As I took a few bites all I could taste was the texture of burnt meat topped with cheddar cheese. The burger was drier than death valley and that is where I wish the person who cook this thing would end up, dead and having is flesh being eaten by the crows. 

The portion of fries was pretty big. They were tucked into a shiny bag. I like shiny things. You’d think something in a shiny bag would be good, but these fries were awful! Steak cut, over-salted and mushy. It was like eating a wet paper bag pissed on a by dog with 3 legs.

I guess sometimes having a big name like Bobby Van’s doesn’t mean much. If you can’t cook a burger properly, I could just imagine what your steak tastes like. But hey, if I the rangers ever need a hockey puck they know where to go. I now realize why Bobby Van's hides this place all the way in the back, because it sucks. 

I wonder if these cheeseburgers were any good?

BV Burger 
120 West 45st ( rear courtyard ) 
(212) 575-2597

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